Probably better to read this in a foreign language anyway.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Bad Behavior

The last month has been big in the bad behavior dept!

Incident #1: Joe Thrillkill is an alchohol fueled telephone terrorist. If you get a phone call in the very early AM and someone cordially says, "nigga cock" just hang up and unplug the phone, cause it aint gonna stop anytime soon.

Incident #2: The residents of the Shit Palace thought buying 3 medium powered air rifles (with scopes!) and 10,000 BB's was a rad idea. they were 100% correct..too bad the first 3,000 shots were fired inside the house. Shattering glass was heard late into the evening, and BB sized welts were dealt to all who dared intervene. Three days of mayhem later the guns were confiscated and haven't been seen since.

Incident #3: With the absence of air rifles to propell the BB's, the folks resorted to throwing them instead. Within minutes the situation had escalated to the point of throwing beer cans and trash. Once again Thrillkill ups the ante and whips a sizeable section of broken skateboard at Bill's head like its a Tron Disc...and it stuck. the blood flowed like a red river. Head wounds rule.

Incident #4: Canadian flyouts at the Belleville park are now being discouraged..harshly. The Nested Ones have taken to policing flyouts by throwing their boards at poo grabbing perpetrators. Incidences of flyouts have declined dramatically in recent weeks. Will direct action against mongo pushers soon follow?

Incident #5: One specific local was overheard talking shit on The Nest, which he had never even ridden. When confronted, he dropped the name everyone loves to blame...Thrillkill. Since he was present for most of the construction and is a resident Nest ripper, Joe was bent way outta shape and a fight at the park almost ensued. Sting dodged a bullet, this time.

This months #1 shit stirrer? Non other than thrillkill, as usual..

Events you need to know about.

Sleestock 2006

The hoods over on the 'Stak are gearing up for mayhem, it seems. There is much talk of an epic session in the merry month of June. Heads from all over the nation will convene in Lincoln City, Oregon and circle their wagons. So, if you are opposed to all sorts of deviant behavior, drunken debauchery, hessian concrete violence or dragonriding..i would suggest staying out of LC on the Third weekend of June.

Bowl Bash XI

The date for Bowl Bash XI has been tentatively set for June 2-3. Bands, set aside that date now to kick in the second decade of Skatopia Mayhem! --Brewce.
"Nuff Said. Be There.

Shit or Shinola?

Either way the STL loses.
In yet another case of stellar incompetence, the Saint Louis YMCA's "skatepark project" is amounting to just about nothing.
The project, headed by a Mr. James Page, is a catastrophic clusterfuck. I guess when you hire a know nothing rollerbooter to be your skatepark director, you get what you get. Mr Page's accomplishments in gayblade world are dodgy at best, but apparently enough to impress the yokel's who run the show at the Y. He has proudly proclaimed, when questioned point blank about his qualifications as a parks director and skatepark advocate, "I've been all over the midwest judging professional rollerblade contests." well, gee willikers i'll be fucked!.. well let's get to diggin' a hole!

The YMCA had accepted a deal with American Eagle and some faggy Ka-Boom/Nickelodeon kiddie outfit to get a modular park. the fucked thing here is that this city's skateboarders are so apathetic that this modular shitpile was considered a step forward..anyway, i digress. The arrangement was to install the modular park (and god help me i helped with that dread installation) and later on, build phase two..a bowl. A real concrete bowl. with pool blocks and shit. confidence was high because the money had already been alotted for the bowl build. Many out of town heads came and went with offers of help, concrete knowledge, direct lines to the big guns of tranny pours, and unlimited advocacy...all went away snubbed. it seemed that James was in over his head and was maybe afraid of losing his new cushy job. As he should be, if this was anywhere else, his ass would be out the door. So, Site Design Group was tapped to do the drawing bit and they came up with four designs. 2 ledge and bank flow courses, and two ledge and bank wonderland's with a separate bowl. already things were getting fucked up. Many asked what happened to the big bowl idea and nobody got any real answers. Everyone was told repeatedly that "things are moving along". The first groundbreaking was scheduled for that summer. so we waited and predictably, it never happened. It's been a couple summers since all this went down and the canvas for the dig is still sitting blank. James puts out an Email now and again, explaining why nothing is happening.

heres an example:
.."I have been working extensively with the contractors who bid on our project to get their price down to what we want. We, at the Y, have also came up with a little bit more money to meet them in the middle. We are just a couple thousand dollar's from reaching an agreement. I'm working with a board member now to get good deal on concrete from Lemay Block. The bid we got from our contractor was $81/yard. If we get this cost down we should make our budget and can get the contracts signed.

If everything goes well construction should begin in March when the ground warms up and the park should open in May. Sorry about the delay but this has been slow and painful process, especially for someone who wants a good skatepark where they work." ..Here is the design for the park. It still has the pool design on this one but it will have to be added on later.
If you have any questions feel free to ask."

James Page
Teen Director
South City Family YMCA

Well, James.. Lots of folks have questions to ask you.
So what we want to know is...In mid-May why is the fucking ground still unbroken?
It's not cold, in fact we had the mildest winter in probably 15 years...So what's up? have no clue what you are doing and nothing is up.
Business as usual in the Derrty-Derrty.

The rumor mill...

A secret spot is coming up in the STL...
indoor 'Crete tranny are the words whispered upon the winds.
what starts with a hole ends with a session, don't ask, don't tell.

Nobody can hear you scream....

..Because they are all Deaf.
Coming from Saint Louis, Deaf Skateboards is some ill shit. Holding down the hearing impaired fort is Brian Werner, an all terrain ripper with a penchant for molesting radial tires and the occasional goat. check it out and buy a board or something.

Old news that still kicks ass

Creature Resurection!

Creature Skateboards is alive and well. The maniacal talents tapped for the resurrection are all killers of the highest order...Nav's, Partanen, Hitz, Horn, Perkins...its fuckin' on!
check out the video, while your there....coffin drops are where it's at.


The boys at Bladerhater are up to no good again. good to know some things never change. The new product catalog is a 'Zine featuring front to back Hitz sketches and good deals.
You can score the unreleased 151 video, "This axe was made to grind", SHED CD's and T-shirts for a mere 13 bucks!
also available are those uberhesh "Haksawz" decks you know you need. get it anyway you can and send em some loot in an envelope. look to the right and over there you'll see a link to SHED on that and ask real nice for a catalog.
you won't regret it.

88 Acres of Anarchy

Skatopia the movie.

Hell Yeah.
Burning cars, fire, naked people, beer, fireworks and 10,000 frontside grinds. what else matters?

The fine folks at Headlamp Pictures have been at The Farm for several events gathering the goods. Colin and Laurie are working extra hard to show us as we really are...a brotherhood of dirty, camera shy, stumbling drunk goons raging around on skateboards.. It's looking to be quite the gnarfest on celluloid. if you aint stoked, you must skate handrails.
Details can be obtained at 88 acres of Anarchy: Skatopia the Movie or CIA Headquarters

Ode to the Internet.

The Internet sucks
clickity clack goes the keys
wasting my life here.


The Motorhead of mini-ramps.
you may not have what it takes.

subtle pressure

ever have shit not work out?
soon enough you start getting pissed off that other folks are dropping the ball...
that where i usually goon out and blow it.
new studies in sociology show that subtle pressure yields good results.
my lesson for the day is this: "be a dick less often."
Get new shoes..