Probably better to read this in a foreign language anyway.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Bee Bomb

A lot of people have heard this story, but heres the footage. Finally, huh?

One day a few summers ago we decided to create the worlds first eco-friendly tweeker deterrent. Boredom makes for strange plans. This is a really rough, quick edit of what went down. It's up here at all because max has been asking about it for at least a year. I know there's a spelling typo in the last text, I hate it passionately but not enough to redo it.
Here it go..


Bee Bomb 1.0 from Hateboard on Vimeo.

The actual field test of the bee bomb has been excluded, mostly due to it being fairly incriminating, and to some degree because it's shitty, shaky camera footage. Just know that the Bee Bomb is very effective.

Now hypothetically, say you had a Bee Bomb and were to actually use it for it's intended purpose, this is allegedly what might happen..
When the grenade's "pin" is pulled ("pulling the pin" meaning a few quick shakes of the jar to rile up it's occupants) and the bee bomb is lobbed into a nest of tweakers the result is nothing short of spectacular. The meth monkeys, who are generally huddled under ramshackle tent cities and tarp houses to smoke crack, will be completely unsuspecting of what is to come. When a jar suddenly breaks amongst them the initial crackhead response will be minimal and probably somewhat of a let down. Maybe a "HEY!" or some "What the fuck!?'s" shouted from beneath a pile of tarps at best, since glass breaking on Skateblock is a daily thing, and doesn't get much attention. However, within seconds that nonchalant response will be shattered when Bum Camp begins its descent into a riotous, frenzied chaos. When all those hornets are suddenly free from their confinement and super pissed off, they start charging full-on at anything within range. The tweaker reactions will differ from tent to tent, but two specific tactics seem to prove the most common. The braver shitbags will attempt to fight their tiny assailants resulting in a beautifully performed spastic ballet of flailing arms, high kicks and low gutteral screaming. Other bums will attempt to outrun the violent swarm, and while this is the sane persons response, it is still merely an attempt to delay one's doom. You see, even though a scared man on methamphetamines is a serious contender in a foot race against another human, he has no chance against hundreds of insane bee's hellbent on his destruction. It is a fate that nothing short of a lake can avert. The hornet is a crazy species of bug, once it's decided to fuck something up, it will follow its target for blocks in the effort to sting it to death. This trait in the insect makes for a very effective eco-weapon since it doesn't kill anyone, leaves almost no traces, has good range and it creates total panic and absolute havoc for about 15 minutes. Thus completely demoralizing the methed-out, enemy battalions.

ALLEGEDLY.